"Trump A First."

                                   

 

Trump's Presidency.  In the lead-up to the election I had a joke I never made, which was, "Whoever wins this will be a historic first. If Hillary wins, we will have our first female President. If Trump wins, we will have our first orang-outang President."

I withheld this zinger from society, not out of consideration for Trump, but out of consideration for orang-outans, which I like those great apes a lot. Indeed it is bad libel on those good old men of the woods. I could have said, "Trump the first baboon," but even though I like baboons less than orang-outans, and the coloration of baboons is less apt than that of orang-outans besides, I still didn't want to say that about baboons. They get a bad rap already and some of them are nice.

Eventually, months later, when Trump had won the Election and we were into his farcical reign, I thought of a version of the joke that was acceptable to me. "If Trump wins, we have our first mentally ill President."

Then I thought, "Nixon."
In the voice of Seinfeld saying Newman.

"He is our first autistic President."

My final version: "When Trump won, it was a victory for orange people. He is our first orange President."

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Historical / literary precedent note:

Thomas Love Peacock's satirical novel Melincourt (1817) imagines an orang-outang being elected to the British Parliament. The joke was resumed by John Wagner and/or Allan Grant in 2000AD when they had an orang-outan named "Dave" elected the Mayor of Mega City One.

N.B. Dave was a good mayor. He was assassinated.