Thursday, March 8, 2018

"Stormy Versus the State."


On Wolfe Blitzer's CNN show lately he's been asking everybody he can about Stormy Daniels. He starts to stammer, his palms become clammy, he coughs and groans inwardly in tormented horror and delight grotesquely combined, as he leads the subject –– any subject –– around to Stormy Daniels.

One moment he is asking the worthy senator from Rhode Island about the steel tariff or about the Mueller investigation and then he will spontaneously all but abandon the subject, brush it aside as though it were so much lint, fluff, nasal discharge and say instead "What about St– St–– Stttt–– Stormy Daniels the porn star Stormy Daniels?"

Jack Reed (the Rhode Island senator in question) was flustered too –– he actually said that there was a "stormy path" ahead for President Combover, and he didn't even cover himself by adding, "PUN INTENDED!"

Wolfe was too busy wiping his forehead with a handkerchief to say "NO PUN INTENDED SENATOR!"

Poor old Laura Coates was drafted in to talk about the legalese of the matter when Wolfe plainly just likes to hear Stormy's name said aloud, particularly by women.

He plainly delights in talking of her, but he always brings her up awfully politely, like a nervous professor at a cathouse, fiddling with his bowtie and with a bunch of daffodils in his hand. "Is–– is–– is–– is the porn star Stormy Daniels receiving visitors?"

DUDES GOT A SCHOOLGIRL CRUSH AAAAAAAH HAAAAAAA>HA LULZ.

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