"Melanesia."

"Love is lovely."  U-ROY.

Irritated my wife badly by perfectly reasonably pointing out that Melania is the best looking First Lady in the history of the "form".

"Say what you will..." I began –– always a bad start.  I put all the obloquy on hold for a moment to remark, magnanimously, "He's a lousy feral shitbird of a Prez, he's a spoilt child AWOL in possession of a golfcart on the world stage, he possesses a negative Amazon rating for charm, wit and a hairstyle, he wears clown shoes in bed, all that I concede, but it remains that his wife is the best looking wife a President ever had. I don't like it any more than you do –– I wish with emotional sincerity that his wife was butt-ugly! –– but there it is. She ain't. She fine."

"Did you ever see Eleanor Roosevelt? Or 'Lady Bird' Johnson? More like 'Stag Beetle'! Sheesh, the previous holder of the title was Mistress Bush. No not that amateur sumo wrestler Barbara –– I'm talking about Laura! Jackie Kennedy was not even in the running. She wore her eyeballs on the actual sides of her head."

I resisted saying, "It is what it is."

I also wisely resisted continuing by arguing with my wife that Stormy Daniels is not, as my wife claims, a "hook-nosed blowtard," and that I actually albeit very sheepishly found her quite attractive too.

I will say absolutely nothing about Ivanka.