"Pushback is The Word of the Day."

The word of the day on the "Hill" in Washington is "pushback." Everybody is saying it.

All around the world today, the kilo is the measure! 
Once you got the funds you got the panties man.       –– Ghostface Killah.

Also: Mark Warner, the Democrat heading the Senate investigation into Overcomber Don's treasonous buffoonery keeps saying the same story. He repeats endlessly, "When I started this investigation I knew it was the most important thing I would do in my life. Now I am into it, I can only say I know it to be so but doubly as much."

It's a cool story, but I don't know if it bears the repeated tellings!

"The Last Words of Dutch Spicer."

Sean Spicer announced the White House's assault on "opioids". Is this nineteenth-century London? Is this Edwin Drood? Are "ICE" workers going to invade the opium dens of old Limehouse and throw out the Chinamen with the pillbox hats and the long clay pipes?

At one point, in the middle of his rambling stuttering stream of consciousness, Spicer also seemed to be demonizing "psychedelics".

That's funny –– I assumed that he gobbles psychedelics like pretzel M&Ms.

He also revealed that they have set "Fat Chrisser" Christie on the case to conquer the awful abuse of opioids (and presumably psychedlics) in these our States. Good thinking there. Chris has distinguished himself on the public stage for his immense self-restraint and discipline in avoiding addictive substances.

"Finally, after all these years of national suffering on a mass scale we are trying to put an end to this deleterious problem that has plagued the whole country for decades," Sean Spicer said. "I mean to say, we have found a use for Chris Christie."

"I (DON'T) Get It."

Sean Spicer's favourite line to journalists is: "I get it."

Dear Sean Spicer:  No you don't.

I spent about fifteen minutes trying to draw Sean Spicer for this flimsy day's entry, failing systematically. You'd think it would be easy with that broad forehead of his and his underbite. What I can tell you, if you want to try it at home, is that he doesn't have any eyebrows.

Were they shaved off by Chairman Don in a prank?

"Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit –– But Trump is the Only President That is an Orange."

"How can I be a Nazi? I'm colored myself! 

I'm orange!"

Overcomber Don has audacity, you have to give it to him. He should pen a book: The Hopelessness of Audacity. 

When he probably should have been doing some work, he was noodling googling and golfing through Youtube, watching old Bobby Lee  MAD TV sketches and Henry Rollins clips when he came across a Snoop Dogg video that had a bright orange Trump clown in it getting shot. 

Overcomber Don immediately tweeted, "Not fair! If this had been done about Obama imagine the outcry. Unfair (sick) disaster." 

He seemed to be accusing his critics of racism. 

What racism?

Don: "You're all prejudiced against orange people."

Incidentally Sean Spicer seemed to have acquired the trademark distinguished Trump white bags under the eyes. I seriously wondered if Trump was coercing with menaces his stooges and henchmen, forcing them to go on the sunbed. They are being blackmailed to get orange skin. Are they all waiting til this is all over so they can line up to write their exposés of the regime? Four Years Before the Sunbed.

* * * * * * * * * *

To other matters. I've watched two shows over the last two nights where Masha Gessen was the expert talking head, peeling back the curtains in the Putin Kremlin. Didn't know the woman before two days ago now she is everywhere. 

I called her a "talking head" but strictly speaking she looks more like a member of the Velvet Underground. 

Not Moe Tucker. Lou Reed. 

Seeing her on PBS's Meet the Press last night I was gripped by her cool appearance. I felt somehow strengthened to hear her testimony. I said, "She looks like she could take on Putin in a no–rules cage match in an abandoned Siberian diamond mine –– or indeed at the bottom of the celebrated Kola Superdeep Borehole, "the world's deepest artificial pit." 

I'm glad she's on our side!

"Siberian Junk / Those Cows."

Did you read or possibly hear on your radio about the little old man whose son overdosed on heroin and so, naturally, raging and pulsating with righteous grief, he went to a Trump Rally looking for answers, how to stop this from happening again ("for somebody to blame").

He had decided he would illumination on the Trump campaign trail.

Trump was awfully sympathetic to his plight (gotta gettum votes boy) and Don the Overcomber pared his nails while he said said "Yes it's awfully tragic awfully disastrous sick bad, well it's Shillary's fault and I tell yeou this wouldn't happen in Russia". (They send junkies to Siberia.)

The man said, "Ah'm just tickled pink [orange]. Ah'm going to shew up at all your rallies with just my faihful guitar and my good arm and strum some old cowboy songs about how great you are and how bad Shillary is and the drugs that she so artfully peddles to the young men. Woman: her ways are intricate and malevolent and she has her devilish designs to beguile us menfolk."

"Ye-esssss," said Trump, staring dully into the back wall of infinity.

Now it transpires that the man whose son died of a heroin overdose after playing hundreds of Trump rallies is awfully disappointed with Trump. It occurs to him after playing hundreds of Trump rallies that he isn't quite certain Trump is of an entirely veracious character. It occurs to him after playing hundreds of Trump rallies that maybe he didn't actually sit down and give this the properest amount of thought.

He wonders to himself in those dark nights if Overcomber Don is quite the churchgoing Christian he claimed to be.

Elsewhere on BBC America there was an interview with a disgruntled (or "dismooed"!) farmer in the Corn Belt who felt like Trump had seduced, abandoned and betrayed him. To which I responded, "Aw diddums –– you dummy. Did the nasty politician mislead you? YOU HALFWIT OF COURSE HE MISLED YOU!!! You're fired!"

Nevertheless he had some amazing cows.
They look like they have been "gene-spliced" with

1) A lop-eared rabbit
2) A camel.

Who are these cows and exactly what do they know? Are they a unique product of the Chernobyl "Steppes"?

Are these cows even real? Or were they automata doctored by young Latvians ("Latverians") with a darknet version of malware and a 3D printer? Are these Feejee Mermaids in the Twenty-First century? 

Is this whaddayoucallit is this "fake news"? 

"Trump's Got a Mullet."

(Sing to the tune of "Sal's Got a Meatskin")

Trump's got a mullet don't you know
Trump's got a mullet don't you know
Trump's got a mullet don't you know
He ain't got much on top though it's obvious and yet he somehow bends light around his head using 
      secret radar camouflage technology.

"Bannon's Just Got To Be Bannon."

     

     A new cliche in Washington circles. "X has got to be X."
     Somebody said it about a lion: "a lion's got to be a lion."
     Then David Brooks said "Bannon's got to be Bannon."

     I said to my wife, "Who said, 'A lion's got to be a lion, Bannon's got to be Bannon'?"
     She said, "It was a National Geographic site, I think, about the lion. David Brooks said it about Bannon."
      "What, so they weren't placed next to each other? I thought it was 'A lion's got to be a lion AND Bannon's got to be Bannon'. X = X ergo Y must = Y."
      "I don't think so."

     I love the thought of all these backcountry Freedom Caucus Republicans backchatting Bannon, because they're the ones he claims to represent. The Kentucky knuckledraggers. All those dispirited daughters of the Confederacy and the former kleagles of the klavern sitting in shitty cantinas in Texas or Alabamy or Iowa or Ohio or Podunklahoma staring at Fox News as the BBC America reporters would come round asking them what they think about people of colour-that-ain't-strictly-pink and transgender toilet usage.

Bannon went in there, Doncomber's bright red attack mutt, and thought he could direct them around like he does Ole Pap from Duckwad Dynasty, but he was badly wrong. He misread the times. Like society gal Invokana on the day all the refugees wre being turned around he was "tone deaf." One of them said, through a plug of chaw, "Yall ain't my paw."

Incidentally, describe Bannon to me without using the words "annihilated," "desiccated," fetid," "revenant," "dandruff," "adult acne," "necrotic teeth," "palsied," "psoriatic," "used-up," or "virulent." I defy you.